WORDS CAN BUILD OR DESTROY.
Every time you speak, you choose a side: If you are a builder, your words help, heal, and tell the truth. If you are a breaker, your words cause harm, shame, or twist the truth. God calls us to be Builders.
The Apostle James tells us that the tongue is like a fire. Imagine a single match. It is small, light as a feather, and of no use until it is struck and lit. Drop it in dry grass, and the fire it causes can consume a whole forest.
James says our tongue, our words, work the same way. One sentence, one post, one text can warm a heart, or burn a house to the ground. (James 3:6).
SO WHAT IS JAMES WARNING US ABOUT?
“The tongue is a fire.” Fire isn’t evil; it’s powerful. It cooks meals and warms homes. However, if you don’t respect it, it will destroy. Words can bless or set situations ablaze.
“It corrupts the whole body.” What we say doesn’t stay in our mouths. Words stain reputations, poison relationships, and even shape how we see ourselves.
“It sets the whole course of life on fire.” One heated outburst can change a marriage, a job, a friendship, or a church. Many of us are living in homes our own careless words set on fire.
“Set on fire by hell.” There is a real enemy (Satan) who loves to weaponize our speech—turning impatience into insults, fear into lies, and hurt into gossip.
HOW THE FIRE SPREADS.
Careless sparks: sarcasm, “jokes” that cut, venting without wisdom
Wind that carries it: texting in anger, posting without praying, repeating rumors
Dry brush that feeds it: pride, insecurity, old wounds we refuse to surrender to Jesus.
The problem isn’t only our lips; it’s our hearts. “What’s in the heart spills out of the mouth.” If the heart is dry with anger or fear, the slightest spark sets the body and soul aflame. (Matthew 15:11).
THINGS TO DO THIS WEEK.
Before you speak, send an email, post a message in a chat room, why not use the THINK filter?
T = TRUE – Is what I want to say true. Not half-true, not “I heard,” but true.
H = HELPFUL – Will it help or make something easier or better for the person I am talking to? Will it build the person up, or will it just make me feel better?
I = INSPIRING – Will it uplift and encourage them? Does it point to hope, solutions, or Jesus?
N = NECESSARY – Do I really need to say it, or would it be better left unsaid? Careless words cannot be unsaid. Once the genie is out of the bottle, it’s already too late.
K = KIND – Does what I am about to say show I care about the person I am talking to? Will they say, “Thanks for your kind words.”
If it fails the test, don’t post it, say it, or email it.
Remember the words of Professor Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.”
PRACTICAL HABITS:
When you’re heated or angry: Pause for 10 seconds before speaking. If you can’t say it calmly, wait.
Always pray quickly: “Lord, set a guard over my mouth. Let my words heal and encourage others.”
Choose a softer start: “Help me understand…” instead of “You always…”
Repair relationships quickly: If you hurt someone, own it fast—“I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
HOW TO USE YOUR WORDS TO WARM OTHERS.
Bless others out loud. Tell your spouse, kids, and friends, “I’m proud of you and I’m glad you are in my life.”
Speak life to problems. Name the issue, and sow the seeds of hope and love.
Gossip in reverse. If you must talk about someone, brag about them, never bash them.
GROUP CHAT GUIDELINES FOR TEENS.
Don’t belittle people who aren’t in the chat. If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t say it online.
Avoid using retweets as a means of attack. Most of the time, you won’t know if it’s an AI-generated lie.
If a joke lands badly, fire it and retire it.
Speak up for the downtrodden and oppressed. The quiet ones who are afraid to speak. Builders protect those who cannot defend themselves.
THIS WEEK’S CHALLENGE.
7-Day Blessing: Every day, speak one sincere blessing to a family member, friend, or coworker, and one to yourself in the mirror.
No-Complaint Window: Pick a two-hour block each day with no complaining. If you slip, reset the timer and keep going.
The deeper fix: a changed heart
We don’t just need new phrases; we need new hearts. Only Jesus can make the well clean, so the water coming out is clean. Invite Him into the places where anger, fear, or shame have lived too long. Let Him dampen that dry brush so sparks don’t catch as easily.
PRAYER OF THE WEEK.
“Lord Jesus, You are the Living Word. Teach us to speak like You. Put Your fire in our hearts to warm, not to burn. Guard our mouths; heal our hurts; fill us with truth, courage, and kindness. Where our words have done damage, give us humility to repair and grace to start again. In Your name, Amen.”
SUMMARY.
Begin this week as builders, not burners. Use your words to light the way, warm the weary, and point people to Christ. And when you fail, and you may, sprint to Jesus and begin again. His grace is more than enough.
REMEMBER.
“The good man brings good things out of his good store of treasure, and the evil man brings evil things out of his evil store of treasure. But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:35-37).
About Phil Basten
Phil is a minister in the United Life Church and is a retired Professional Counselor. He is a father to 3 wonderful daughters and six amazing grandchildren. He is also husband to an incredible woman who never ceases to amaze him.